Regulating the Relations between Man and Woman
 

The fact that women stimulate the procreation instinct in men and vice versa, does not inevitably mean that the stimulation will exist whenever a man meets a woman. Rather, it means that fundamentally they can potentially stimulate the instinct in each other when they meet which may result in sexual relations. However, they may meet and not stimulate the instinct, such as when meeting for trading or to conduct an operation on a patient, or for attending circles for knowledge, etc. In all these cases and others, the possibility of stimulating the sexual instinct still remains. However, the presence of the possibility, does not mean the presence of excitement. Excitement occurs once they view each other from the male-female angle instead of the view of preservation of the human race. Therefore, the fact that the woman and the man stimulate this instinct in each other should not become a reason to seclude the woman from the man completely. In other words, it is incorrect to make the possibility of arousing the procreation instinct prevent men and women from meeting together in public life and from co-operating amongst each other. Rather, they must meet in public life, and they must co-operate amongst each other, for their co-operation is essential for society and public life. Such co-operation, however, can not be achieved except with a system that regulates the relationships between them. This system must emanate from the view that the relationship between males and females is meant to preserve the human race. By this system, the meeting of men and women in public life and co-operation between them becomes possible and safe.

The only system that guarantees a peaceful life and organises man-woman relations naturally is that whose basis is spirituality and whose criterion is the Ahkam Shariyah (divine rules), including the rules that achieve the ethical value. Such a system is the social system in Islam. Islam looks upon humans, be they men or women, as humans with instincts, sentiments, inclinations and a mind. The Islamic system permits the human to enjoy the pleasures of life. It does not denounce the human for taking from life the greatest share he can. It assumes, however, that this be carried out in such a way that protects the community and the society, and enables the human to proceed to achieve tranquillity. The Social system in Islam is the only correct social system (assuming that other social systems exist). This is due to several features: It views the procreation instinct as being for the purpose of preserving the human race; it accurately organises male-female relations whereby it guarantees that this instinct proceeds only in its natural course, thus fulfilling the purpose for which Allah created the human. At the same time it organises the relations between men and women and makes the regulation of the male/ female relationship a part of these relations, whereby it guarantees co-operation between men and women which produces goodness for the community, society and the individual. At the same time, it guarantees the achievement of the ethical value. It makes the pleasure of Allah I, which is the ideal, the controller of such co-operation. This ensures that piety and purity decide the method of the relations between the two sexes in this life, and ensures that the styles and means in life do not in any way contradict with this method.

Islam restricted sexual relations i.e. the male-female relations between the man and woman to marriage. Any relation outside of these two is considered a crime that must be punished severely. As for other kinds of relations which are external aspects of the procreation instinct, such as, parenthood, childhood, brotherhood, unclehood, they are allowed and considered of the unmarriageable kinship. Islam permitted for women matters which it allowed for men, such as practising trade and industry, farming, attending classes of knowledge, praying, carrying the da'wah (to spread Islam), etc.

Islam made co-operation between men and women in life's affairs and in the peoples relations among themselves a fact in all dealings. All are the servants of Allah (swt) and all co-operate in worshipping Him (swt) in goodness, and in fearing Him. The Ayat came to address humans with regards to inviting them to Islam irrespective of the fact that they are men or women.

Allah (swt) says, 

''Say, Oh people, I am the Messenger of Allah to you all''. [Al- Araf: 158]
''Oh people fear your Lord'' [An- Nisa: 1]

With regard to the rules of Islam, the Ayat addressed the believers. 

Allah (swt) said:

''Oh you who believe, answer the call of Allah and the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life''. [Al- Anfal: 24]

The Ayat have been revealed to include men and women. 

He, (swt) said:

''Fasting is prescribed upon you'' [Al- Baqarah: 183]

and said, 
''Establish Salat, [Al- Anam: 72]

Take from their wealth, [At- Tauba: 103] 
and,
Sadaqat (zakat) is only for the poor and the needy''. [At- Tauba: 60]
''Oh you who believe, take not your fathers and brothers as allies if they choose Kufr over Iman''. [At- Tauba: 23]

These Ayat, among many others, are general, and address men and women. Carrying out these commands might encompass the meeting between men and women, including the commands that are performed individually, such as, prayer. This, therefore, proves that Islam permitted men and women to meet to fulfil whatever rules He (swt) commanded them with, and actions that they have to carry out.

However, Islam mandated certain precautions against anything that would lead to an illegal sexual relationship or divert men and women from the specific system Allah (swt) mandated to control the sexual relationship. Islam is very strict in observing these precautions. Thus, it made chastity mandatory, as well as obliging the use of every method, style or means that would lead to the protection of chastity and morals. This is due to the fact that anything that is necessary for the fulfilment of an obligation is an obligation. To achieve this goal, it determined certain divine rules (Ahkam Shariyyah). Some of which are:

1. It commanded men and women, to lower their gaze. 

Allah (swt) said, 

''Tell the believing men to lower from their gaze and to protect their private parts. That is better for them, Allah knows the details of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower from their gaze and protect their private parts''.[An- Nur: 30-31]

2. It commanded women to wear modest clothes that cover and hide all places of charm except what is apparent (by necessity) and to drape their clothes over them so as to cover them. 

Allah (swt) said: 

''And they are not to show their charm except that which is apparent. And let them cover their chests and necks (jaibs) with their head covers (khimars)''. [An- Nur: 31]

He (swt) also said: 

''Oh prophet tell your wives and daughters and the women of the believers to drape down their outer clothes (jilbab)''. [Al- Ahzab: 59]

Meaning, they are not to show the places of their charm, except that which is apparent i.e. the face and the hands. Khimar is the head cover and Jaib is the shirt. i.e. the shirt opening from the neck to the chest. In other words, let them place their khimar over their necks and chests. Idnaa of the jilbab is to drape the dress down. 

3. It forbade the woman from travelling from one place to another for over one day and one night without a Mahram (unmarriageable man). The Messenger said: ''It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah and the Day of Judgement to travel one night and one day except with a mahram''.

4. It forbade a man and a woman to be in seclusion (Khulwah) except in the company of a Mahram. The Messenger said: ''No man should be in seclusion (Khulwah) with a woman without her Mahram''. Ibn Abbas reported that he heard the Prophet give a speech in which he said: ''No man should be in seclusion (Khulwah) with a woman except with her Mahram. Also no woman is to travel but with her Mahram''. Upon hearing this, a man stood up and said: ''Oh Messenger of Allah, my wife is out to perform Hajj and I have been conscripted in such and such battle''. The Messenger said: ''Go and perform Hajj with your wife''.

5. Islam forbade the woman to leave her house without her husbands permission. Since he has rights on her, she is not to leave his house without his permission. If she leaves without his permission, she is considered disobedient and therefore rebellious (Nashiz), who does not deserve financial support (Nafaqah). Ibn Buttah reported in ''Woman's Rules'' from Anas that a man travelled out of town and prevented his wife from leaving the house. Then her father became ill. She asked the Messengers permission to visit her sick father. The Messenger replied: ''Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband''. Later on her father died. She asked the Messenger's permission to attend his funeral. He said: ''Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband''. Then Allah (swt) revealed to the Prophet that I have forgiven her due to her obedience to her husband. 

6. Islam made the community of women separated from the community of men in private life, the Mosques, schools and their likes. So it made the woman live among women and the men among men. It also made the lines of women behind the lines of men in prayer, and the woman is to live with women or a mahram. So, the woman would perform her public life affairs such as buying and selling and the like then go afterwards to live with women or a mahram.

7. Islam endeavoured to maintain co-operative public relations between men and women in all transactions. It did not allow such relations to be private such as exchanging visits among the non-Mahram men and women, and going out together. This is due to the fact that the purpose of this co-operation is for the woman to fulfil her rights and affairs as well as take care of her obligations.

8.Islam forbade people from discussing procreation instinct intensely

With such rules, Islam took precautions to prevent the meeting of men and women from turning into sexual encounters, in order to continue as meetings of co-operation, to discharge interests and allow the performance of duties. Therefore, Islam treated the relations that result from the interests of individuals, men or women, when the two meet. It also treated the relations that result from the meeting of men and women, such as, financial support, parenting, marriage, etc. Islam's treatment restricts meeting to the relations for which they were made, and it keeps them from turning into sexual encounters. 

Glossary

Khimaar - Head dress

Jilbaab - Long and loose gown

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